bonnenkai

On Wednesday, my BOE (Board of Education) had their bonnenkai (end of year party). It was lots of fun, like most of these wild parties are. you would think that in an office party there would be a sense of decorum, and it would be a dignified affair. WRONG! it is nothing of this sort, nor will it ever be. In this part of the world, parties are what parties are supposed to be: wild, drunken, bacchanalic uninhibited fun and frolic with singing, dancing and great food.
And this time i didn't have to wear a sari!

the evening kicked off with a bento box of food, which of course I couldn't eat. none of the items were safe, for all their beauty they evoked no emotion in me. they were like pretty women. After all the fluttering and clucking by the Mother Hens, meatless, dashi-less oily ramen was brought to me. This ramen lasted me the whole evening.

Once bellies were full, tables cleared of empty bento-boxes, bingo cards were distributed. The 24 numbers were individually circumferenced by slits by which one could push the no. out and fold it. (umm, for those who r wondering why i am describing bingo cards; in India, we all scramble for pens when housie {our bingo} cards are circulated, esp. at kitty parties. and therefore i found the cards quite interesting.)

The bingo game was launched amid much excitement and one by one the winners (the one to get one whole line struck off as the numbers were called) got up to grab a gift from the pool, tearing them open to display what they had chosen. Some gifts were very interesting and I sighed for i couldn't get them. one was a beautiful cubic Okinawan glass that i coveted! but I ended up getting two curry rice bowls which sent the whole BoE in ruptures "Indo curry rice!!!!" it was the most apt gift for me in their eyes. Only when ayumi got exactly the same dishes, did we discover that it was actually a return gift from a wedding that had been recycled. nonetheless, I like it very much. especially the wooden spoons. :)

After the gifts were grabbed, opened, displayed and stashed away, the rest of the fun and games were served.

The hostess performed okinawan dances for our pleasure. she was quite good. altho she did use some artifical flowers as props, the use of which is still not clear in my head. except for jutting out unceremoniously from her obi, they didnt really serve any purpose. even aesthetically, i found it quite an oddity.

First game to be played was the wasabi bombs! four strong muscular(?!?) males were dared to participate. They were each given an onegiri, one of which was packed with wasabi. Only the hostess of the bar knew who got the 'bomb'. They had to eat it at the same time and the rest of the crowd had to discover who got the 'bomb'. One person (the funniest dear old man at the BoE) did his best to jump up and down roll on the floor unable to swallow the onegiri even with the help of 20 glasses of water. None but one person guessed it right. the person who got wasabi one had done a great job hiding it but afterwards his face was pink and eyes red.

Once the wasabi-induced passions were quelled, we moved on to the pass-the-rubber-band. 8 unlucky contestants were chosen, I among them. I was later informed that it was according to the two divisions of the BoE - education and social. I am still unsure where I belong. Anyway, it was 2 teams of 4 pl - 2 men and 2 women each. And we had to pass a rubber band using a toothpick in our mouths. If the band was dropped we had to start from the beginning. It was embarrassing and we were laughing like mad men at the end of it all. Again the funny dear old man (from now referred to as FDOM) put the toothpick as far in in his mouth as he could, leaving only a tiny tip out, to much of Ayumi's distress! well inspite of that her team won, while my team dropped the band twice! dropping our chance of winning.

Then, i also lost a 100yen in the reverse hyakku-en janken. (janken is rock-paper-scissors.) The game was played thus: pairs were made and asked to janken. The loser received the 100yen from the winner. therefore it was reversed. the loser-winners thus jankened until 2 people remained. the last winner won approximately 1500yen! I lost in the first round against FDOM. hmm! the one time i win a janken, i lose! :)

Then there was the toilet paper unwrapping contest. I was made to participate in that. The four contestants competed to be the first one to unwound a whole toilet paper role and wrap it on their hand. My pseudo-supervisor came in first, while i came in second! but it was I who walked away with all the loo-paper!! it is currently safely hidden under my desk at the boe, and will be essential in the construction of an artifact beyond any one's imagination but mine. (who-ho-ha-ha-ha! ) (shhhh- no-one but I knows the secret location of the treasure!)

Well, after the games, we started the karaoke. The karaoke screens cleared up; they had semi-nude women with skimpy clothes earlier.... this had made me wonder whether it was a hostess bar, that had been hired by the BoE. Anyway. to not sing at karaoke at a party is to perform sacrilege towards a holy ritual. therefore, I brought in help in the form of Ayumi, and we chose a song that she could sing - 'eternal flame' by the bangles. it probably turned out solemn. but it was a solemn hymn to the karaoke gods. we were heckled, tho. and therefore we decided a 'peppier' song for the next time - 'top of the world' and we had everyone clapping this time.

David was dearly missed during the party, and especially so during karaoke, as he usually took control over the "lets-get-wild-and crazy" madness :) !! But he was in Denver, enjoying a white christmas at home.

Well that was it for the evening. it was nearly 12. the party had been fun, but it was time to go home now. i hadn't been feeling well for sometime and i just needed to sleep. (future wud show how sick i became afterwards.) so, angel Saori drove me and Ayumi to Motobu, and sleep sweet sleep...

Shoko

I dedicate a full blog to my new friend Shoko. She works at Kajinho - the infamous pizza place in Motobu, where u can get "Pizza in the Sky". The place has one of best restaurant service and ambiance, and also one of the most beautiful views in Motobu - mind u, my town is beautiful and it affords many an amazing view.


I had heard of the place before i even came to Okinawa, because a fellow vegetarian JET told me how the place makes veg pizza! And when I finally arrived here, and had my first pizza there, i was mildly disappointed. I missed mum's homemade pizza with pineapples and lots of veggies. the pizza at kajinho, was oishii, but it had too much cheese and very little vegetables. for the first time in my life, i worried about my weight and i felt guilty about eating so much cheese!

well, all that changed. I have come to love that pizza, and not worry about my weight. its the only place in town where i can go to and not worry about daashi (fish-broth) or katsuo-bushi (fish-flakes) smuggled into my food. i am safe from these surreptitious dealings at Kajinho.
so, Shoko who works there has become a fast friend from the many visits to this place. she has invited us to parties in Motobu, introduced us to her guy friends, shared many a good times and for me she has been a life-saver.

it was one Thursday, exactly a week after my scooter accident, that it rained hard and heavy in my part of the universe. i still uneasy with riding in the rain, walked to work. i slipped while walking and hurt my sprained leg worse. i couldn't walk, the rain beat me, the wind chilled me, i was late to work, wet and depressed. one dark thought led to another and i found myself in a whirlwind of depression and uncontrollable fits of crying. i reached school, unable to be at peace. locked myself in the loo and retched. it was one of the worst days of my life. i hated how my life was being governed by factors i had no control over: my placing in Motobu by the JET Prog., my predecessors indifference to my situation, my Board's unwise decisions taken on my behalf without my consultation, the rain etc etc. so many things could have been done differently whereby i would not have had these troubles, and all these had been out of my bounds.

i guess i had hit rock bottom of the culture shock wave as well. i missed my friends. i missed the relative security i had back home. i missed being in control.

i was sent home that day. there weren't any classes that demanded my presence, and even if they did, i was in no condition to attend to them. i was as unstable as a blob of uranium. i could spontaneously burst into a rain of tears at any given moment. God knows how many tissues I cried that day.

I cancelled the dinner I was going to make for Shoko that night. I couldn't make food for myself, let alone a meal for another. and i had run out of all groceries and couldn't go get more becoz of the rain. i sat wrapped up, alone, sad, cold and hungry in my apartment, trying my best to curl up and diminish away. until I got a call from Shoko.

she brought me good cheer and she brought me pizza that night :) i truly believe that some greater force had a hand in sending her. it is always a miracle to get food (and what delicious one at that!) when one is starving. And more than that, Shoko brought friendship. she gave me encouragement. and even though i didn't tell her at all of the things that worried me, she was perceptive to my situation. she herself stated the problems i was undergoing by having an apartment so far from the town center. she offered help in case i wanted to shift apartments. she was kind and understanding.

when i was finally able to cook an Indian meal for her, it was another wet Thursday. and she said how whenever it rained she remembers me and worries how i will get to work. that is all i need to hear to keep me going on. i don't want "Juhi, you must try to be strong!" because no-one knows how hard i try. i don't even want "well, you can fix it if you want!" because rain is not a tap i turn off. I get encouragement from knowing that I am remembered and cared about.
Shoko has helped me in more ways than one. her pizza and she gives me the strength to go on. ....and this is my testimonial for Shoko.

"Engrish"

Rising from the ashes of Phonix:
In a class today, while studying phonix (?!?!), I was made to say the pronunciation of the consonants of the English alphabet, and it was like a light bulb... yeah yeah, u know the cliche.

I realised that not only was I put in a questionable state by being asked to say 'Q', I had to put the question to myself - "what in the world was I doing?" because clearly something was hugely amiss. One aspect of it was the Q-question - does the letter Q have its own valid sound? Of course it does, but is it the sound in 'queue' or as it is in 'queen'. I had to remember my linguistics course and the fun phonetics classes to regain my balance, after being rudely shoved into a state of insecurity- did i really belong here? Teaching English pronunciation when I didn't know it myself? Who was I kidding?

I took comfort in realising that it was the very nature of the English language that allowed such questions to be asked. The vast, open-endedness, in the mesh of signifiers, language must not be bound up and tied down to one thing only.

The question raised by Q also took me into the deep depths of my thought where I was having one of those conversations with my self. (notice, my self not myself). I was telling self that the whole 'internationalisation' that I was here for really only meant Americanization, 'cause seriously will I be allowed to teach my Japanese students an Indian accent? As everyone there wanted the students to learn the American accent. But by nature I don't have an American accent. I would like to think that I don't have any particular accent but my own. It may have very many tinges of Indian in it, but I'd rather that it not.

Anyway, that I try to negate a huge part of my identity is beyond the topic at hand. What the real point I was trying to make was that -

1. the Japanese speak the 'katakana-engrish', just like Indians have an Indian accent, Americans, an American one, the Britons a British accent and so on...
2. therefore, is 'katakana-engrish' really so bad?

Well, yes, sometimes. When words 'r' metamorphosed into another until one doesn't have a clue as to what is being said. ('love' become 'rabu'). But isn't it this process that gives Indian-English writing the unique quality we admire? That made H. Hatterr one of the most stylistically brilliant texts ever written/read? And English especially has been subject to assimilations in I believe, every corner of the world. There are a numbers of Englishes in the world today, so why can't Japanese-English also be one of them? Why lay so much stress on an American accent? Why not work first at getting the students to build a working vocabulary and a comprehensive grammar before working on their accents?

Till that day arrives, we shall continue the debate alongside continuing to take pleasure in the numerous interesting instances where engrish provides us with a good laugh....

rabu rabu tsu aru! (read translation: love love to all)

My Scooter Saga

one of the biggest events of my existence must have a space on my blog, and therefore, today i reminisce about my escapades concerning the former love of my life.

my love, my dearest, my dream-come-true, my all, my scooter..... "scooter?" u ask .... well, yes. i was in love with a machine. and who would have thought it!

it all began when i was placed in a small town called Motobu in okinawa after being selected for the JET programme. apparently, it was impossible to get around town and to work if i didn't have a car. after much confusion and conflicting advice, i decided to learn how to drive and overcome my fear of the road. and so i learned and braved the rough roads of delhi, and actually enjoyed being behind wheels, and dreamt of owning a car in Japan. unfortunately i couldnt get my national license before leaving, becoz it took a minimum 40-day period for such a luxury, even in corrupt india there was no-one i could bribe! i thought oh well, will try for one in Okinawa. turned out i cant get a driving license here coz it takes 2 months and super-duper Japanese language skills to get. plus, i lived so far away from Naha, where they have the tests in English, that it was not even next to impossible, it just was impossible. so i was given the option of either - brutally murdering my wallet with taxi rides, maiming my legs with 2~ hour walks, taking a bus that would make me late for work becoz of lack of buses and get home at hours beyond my work time got over; OR getting a scooter, a 'gentsuki' as they call it here.

* (DEFINITION: gentsuki - a one seater automatic scooter; a cute lil mode of transportation that carries my weight to school everyday on time. )

to get this highly dreamy object, i was required to obtain a special gentsuki license, and for this even more exquisite piece of cardboard, i had to pass a written test. thankfully the test was held in Nago- the closest city to Motobu- and it was also possible to have an English question paper!!!! hallelujahh!! could i seriously believe my luck? Armed with the forces of sheer lunacy I thought I will pass this silly test in an instant as the rules of the road were most definitely common sense... ha, the result of the test wrecked that damning self-confidence I was possessed by; the 64 out of 100 I got suggested that common sense was perhaps a tad bit too less to pass.

well, those were the still the days of genki-optimism. the same day i took the test and failed, i applied for the second one. the only upsetting thing was that it was held only twice a month, which meant that there was a long wait. in the meantime i would had to suffer the same dreadful uncertainty.

for my second try at the test, i got the exact same question paper! mind you, it was not that it had the same questions, it was the same sheet! one particular question had a double negative and someone before me had circled the "not" in the question. i thought well, i do know some questions that i did wrongly last time, and i honestly thought I'd do better. ha! so much for genki-ness. i failed again, with the exact same score! what were the odds?

the test has 48 question, 46 are for 2 marks each, and the last two are situational questions of 4 marks each, but the have 3 parts and you have to get all 3 parts right for the question to be right. and strangely, these on my paper were driving a car questions not scooter. so if u get any one part of these questions wrong then u can get only one more 2-mark question wrong to pass the test coz the pass percentage is 90! and just to give you an idea of what kind of strange questions in the test, try and answer this:

• true or false - you are going downhill and your brakes fail, do you drop your bike on the mountainous side of the road, scrape against the guard rails to slow down or drop your bike on the dirt embankment on the side of the road

all these options sound equally ridiculous and i would mark it false, right? but who knows? and how do i find the answer, whoever i ask cannot find a logical answer....

facing the double negatives, the twisted "engrish", and strange illogical questions, i attempted the paper again, this time i went to Nago with paul who had school there day, with no-one to accompany me and translate the instructions for me. i failed yet again. this time i got the same question paper yet again, but at least i got 2 marks more this time! i was so frustrated. i didnt kno what i was doing wrong! i was sick of trying to find ways to get to Nago, and back, not just to give the test but to apply for it as well; sick of getting the same illogical questions; sick of waiting for the test day to arrive, sick of wasting a whole day waiting for the result only to be told i failled again... and many other issues that i dont even want to mention. no-one can kno what immense difficulties i had to face. (and here i'm not being ironic or funny.)

i had to give the test 4 times before i passed. what was i doing wrong u might ask me. well, i was trying too hard to pass. see what i have learned is that in the japanese system they dont really test ur capabilities but rather your patience. if u stay at it long enough they will proudly hand u ur goal when u give up trying to actually pass the stupid test. the last time, i willingly failed myself marking all the answers true. each time I went they handed me the same question paper and the answers were nowhere to be found! i even bought the textbook but it too didnt have the answers! imagine, all i had to do was fail!!! all the time before i was so frustrated and fed up with the whole bloody thing getting worked up and crying my wits out coz it seemed so hopeless! everyday was a challenge to get to school and i wud bike, take a bus, taxi, ferry everything except fly to work and back! well, all that is over and i got the license.

my board of education (the office where i work at) had a small party for me. they got a cake and the superintendent made some funny mock speech and presented me the license. and i got more plants for my foliage-friendly house! they r so sweet. they r more happy for my obtaining a license than i am! in a note Saori-san wrote :

"Dear juhi, congratulations!!

your happiness is happy of us! this license card is your

sweat and a crystal of tears. the safe driving is always borne in mind.

really congratulations!!!

from: your companions.

PS:it is taken care not to lose this card."

i had to type out the whole msg coz it means so much that some1 would go thru the effort to write a msg of love in a language they are not fluent in. my board of education really takes care of me, they made me feel at home easily and i feel comfortable working with them. i couldnt ask for a more loving and caring staff.

so after 2 months, i finally have a license to ride a scooter, and i bought my scooter and helmet and have been riding around town. it was the best thing to happen until my accident last thursday. now i am back to being road-phobic. i visualize my next fall every time i ride it. what happened u ask? maybe it was my fault for riding in the rain. but i had no option but to be stuck in school forever. guess it was bound to happen, what are the odds that a new rider will never have an accident?

so, my scooter slipped on the road, thankfully there weren't any vehicles around and that i just fell on the road without being slammed into by another car or something! my bike sustained scratches, but it was ok. i couldnt stand for a few minutes, and thought finally i have broken a bone. but no, it was just sprained. i stopped the ppl who came to help from calling an ambulance! i have since resisted all forces to send me to the hospital. it was the next day when all my sore muscles reacted. i hurt everywhere, and ironically it was one of the busiest days for me. i had 4 continuous classes, at junior and elementary school, and since it was friday, i had to go to the board of education, and book club in the evening! where did i get the strength? i impress myself.

heres one of the bruises i sustained:

i have survived it, even tho my muscles still hurt, i hope i get the courage to overcome my fear of the road. wish me luck! i must make this relationship work, my scooter must become my love once again, i cannot hate it, i am too dependent upon it!

so, that was my scooter saga.

applause!